Heaven...

It’s Sunday and one of my clients, we’ll call her Jackie, is coming in for an adjustment. I met her about a week ago and had a wonderful conversation about meditating and spirituality. I don’t get in that deep with people usually but every now and then someone special crosses my path and reminds me there is so much more out there…
“I’m so sorry! I really do love my hair, it’s just I need more off the length.” she exclaims before sitting in my chair.
“It’s no problem!” I laugh, happy to see her. We decide how much I’ll be taking off and I get started.
We start talking about writing. She’d love nothing more than to sit in a cabin out in nature and write a book.
“Me too!” I exclaim. I don’t want to be too far away from people though but for a little while that sounds really nice.
Our words bounce back forth between what we’ve done in the past as far as employment and what we’d like to do in the future. She used to be a massage therapist and energy healer, two things I’m fascinated by. The things we want require money and time, two things I’m generally not ok with. My impatient self wants everything right this minute.
Somehow the subject of Rob comes up. I tell her about losing him, about the South Carolina license plates and the “I love yous” that I see on occasion.
“You are so lucky!” she beams.
My eyes tear up and I nod. “I feel that way.”
“He’s still here.” she reminds me.
I nod.
“You know what I think?” she asks. “I think you two were up in Heaven, hashing out the details of your lives, picking your parents, your lessons and when you’d meet. He knew that his life’s work would be done and in order for you to move forward, he’d have to leave so you could live.”
I’m losing it as she puts words to the thought that ha been in my mind since I met Rob. She stands and hugs me. I never want to let her go. We’re covered in her hair but it doesn’t matter.
“I totally feel that way.” I smile, wiping my face as she sits down again but faces me. Nothing else matters more than right now. Noise and people are buzzing around me but she’s the only person I see.
Her words remind me of a morning that I woke up wrapped up in Rob’s arms which was in my opinion impossible because we each liked to be on our own sides of the bed when it was time to go to sleep. This particular morning I remember having a hard time opening my eyes, not wanting to let go of something. It was dreamlike and felt as if we went somewhere together. When we both opened our eyes I felt that he felt this way too because he hugged me hard saying that he didn’t want to let me go. I still wonder if he felt whatever it was I was feeling to the extent that I did.
Jackie reminds me again how lucky I am to have him with me always. I explain that I have a hard time talking about all of this with my family. I want to. I want to share all the little things with them but in the past when I’ve told mom about the South Carolina plates or sent dad an email I’m met with skepticism or silence.
Pat reminds me that I must’ve chosen mom to be my mom because of our differences like this.
“You need her to have those opinions to gain confidence in your own beliefs.”
That is quite possibly the most positive spin anyone could ever put on it.
“I’m so glad you came in.” I tell her as I finish up her hair.
“We obviously had messages for each other.” she smiles and hugs me goodbye.